I was the one who stood apart - the lonely child
The last one to line up in an odd-numbered class,
Drifting behind the close-knit crowd like a stray thought
Pondering dewdrops; single leaves on which they shone.
Dreaming the golden visions of writers long gone
The world was an overfilled jar. But my small piece
Was enough. It held me warm, giving pure release.
~
Then I found that person - actually, he found me
It's rather easy to catch someone's attention
If nobody else talks to them. So he became
My love, my everything; a sunray through grey clouds
Held me. His laughter lifted my heart's heavy shroud
Warmed me. And suddenly, I was human again -
For the first time, heard music in a simple name.
~
How could I have not noticed his inner deceit?
So happy with things the way they already were.
He turned to another girl. The vague papercut
Sinks deeper into my being with her cruel spite
His savage pleasure in breaking a heart. I might
Just go and kill myself now. Breathing butterflies
I'm having trouble staying awake. Ropes untie
~
And all breaks apart, tears of shattered disbelief
Stain my red pillow, until the imprints remain
Etched on my soul. But I can make it fade away ...
All I need to do is observe a crystal ball
Of a waterdrop; so clear-perfect, not one flaw
Refreshing the colour of leaves; magically deep
Reading Coleridge before I fall into sleep.
~
It creeps up unexpectedly, the buried pain
Crawling on my shoulder, I see them everyday
Stabbing into my chest as they talk, then embrace -
Wrenching deep inside, late at night when I'm alone
All appears to die - Time, a potplant there, the phone.
And I have to somehow, somehow get up and live
When my spirit is dry; nothing whole left to give.
~
There are times so hopeful when I still believe that
All is not lost - he will come back, one sunlit day -
Though under my skin I know this can never be.
Tiny fragments and all, I dredge up what is left
To seek the One, the musical keys to my clef
Another half; someone to fuse with myself. Kiss
A passing breeze, and now nothing will be amiss.
~
As for today, I will dance among the dust motes
Opening windows to sun-swept worlds far away.
Sometimes I remember what reality is ...
But my hidden heart dwells not in this fallen place -
Breathing the light, touching air. Reflections of grace
Spread amidst dewdrops, within a silver flower;
And my soul is calm; just for now, just this hour.
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Comments
--
My heart seeketh you
Within the amber twilight
Forever amidst the stars
--
Life is good, skateboarding is better...
--
life is on the rocks
am i the sea or the sand?
--
My heart seeketh you
Within the amber twilight
Forever amidst the stars
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